Laying low for a while

Am writing this from my sick bed, not very far from the ah... amenities. Have come down with a nasty bout of gastro and can't move far.

Another member of the family is also unwell. My computer is dying a slow agonising death. nb has been defragging it, but it appears to have no effect. We've had some good times my friend...

Remember me plugging away at you in the early hours of the morning in our tiny one bedroom flat when I was at uni? Hearing Jamiroquai on the radio always makes me remember those times. That was my motivating CD to get an assignment out the door.

You first came into my life due to nb's folks going guarantor on a student loan for me to buy you. How we managed financially back then just astounds me to think about it. Fancy needing a guarantor on a $2K loan?? I remember your little fan couldn't cope with the box getting so hot and because our place had a dampness problem, the dust would stick to the fan and it would eventually chug to a halt. Then we got a kickass big fan and everything seemed alright again. Only a few weeks ago did we see buckets of "damp-rid" in the supermarket and reminisced about having to buy that constantly to get rid of the dampness problem. nb would always try and install crap programs on you without me knowing... Ah, the good old days.

So, it's gonna be a couple of weeks before the new little guy comes along to replace my Ziggy. In the meantime, it's going to be a struggle to get on to nb's new toy or his pc to post anything.

ooh - on that note I really, really have to go....

Tassie

Had a fantastic long weekend in Tasmania this weekend. What a fantastic part of the world. Got to spend a lot of time catching up with my sister Eloise and her kids. It was so great to see them and they were so excited to see us. Eloise had organised a whole itinerary for us, which was just great. It was so exciting to land at Hobart and be able to see Eloise, Blake & Rocky literally jumping up and down in the terminal from our windows in the plane. Hobart is this tiny little airport where you get to walk on the tarmac when you disembark. I couldn’t get over how friendly the people in Tasmania are! It was a really refreshing change to what we are used to. We got to see some fantastic sites, including Richmond Bridge (oldest bridge in Australia), a tour of the Cadbury factory, Salmon Ponds in Plenty and Russell Falls. It was an action packed weekend – I am so tired now… It was great to be able to spend Rochelle’s 4th birthday with her and get to see her blow out the candles on her cake and get so excited over her presents. The kids were just magic. Have loaded the photos on flikr if you wanted to wander over.

Review: Danny Bhoy

Had the pleasure of seeing Danny Bhoy as a part of MICF this evening. A top effort, it was a really good show. He played to a packed audience at the Town Hall. The laughs didn’t stop from beginning to end. His grand entrance included him walking on the stage toward the audience, who were only able to see his silhouette, because of the amount of dry ice. He was playing the bagpipes, which he was really good at. It wasn’t until the spotlight came on that you realised he was holding a barstool upside down with tassels on it to make it look like bagpipes and that it was a recording. What a classic.

He spoke of a lot of his travels around Australia, with some very funny Australian accents (considering he is Scottish). He did seem to get a bit obsessive about a review he had received in The Age and mentioned quotes from it several times through the show, which was probably unnecessary. The show was much longer than any other comedy show I have been to so far. I don’t know if this is because his shows generally go longer or if he was just on a roll on this night. Either way, I didn’t mind because it was a genuinely good show. His impression of backup dancers from a 50 Cent (or as he put it, 36 pence if you are in the UK) film clip made tears come to my eyes from laughter.

Based on the Edna Krabappel rating system, I give this one 4.5 stars. Although it was very good and the laugh out loud factor was very high, it was a little flat in parts and I didn’t slap my thighs while cracking up, which immediately warrants a 5 star rating. Highly recommend seeing Danny next time he is town. What a shame that MICF finishes this Sunday. It’s my favourite time of the whole year. I hope we get to go to the Edinburgh Festival when we are in the UK. That would be so ace!!

Nerds paradise

nb and I have been awaiting the arrival of our little baby. However, through sheer luck, it turns out we are having twins. Fraternal twins mind you and the second is not due for another 4 weeks. The first little one arrived tonight and nb won't leave it alone. Yep, two brand new baby notebooks as our PCs are starting to die in the arse. Nothing that a new monitor and motherboard wouldn't fix, but kinda hard to lug around Europe.

There have been discussions around who gets the Asus and who gets the Sony. nb sent me a link about the Asus which highlighted why I won't want it. I happened to send this link to a good friend of mine, who now becomes a guest blogger, as this is what she had to say:

Yeah, you really don't want the Asus... I've never, ever, ever seen a laptop like that before... Who thinks up of these things? "So, let's design a laptop that looks like one that a robot would use, with really powerful speakers that will blow your eardrums. And let's stick a webcam on it so these nerds can look at each other while they blow each others' armies away. Oh, and it has to have flashing lights - no reason, just because. And we'll market it at the next comic book / gaming / Star Wars convention. "

I'd take the slim and white vaio anyday - much more girly! See, I wouldn't be embarrassed to take that to my local Wifi cafe...

So yeah, I get the sexy Vaio. Woo hoo!

Talking about sexy, check out these stunners. They work for Google in Sydney. Grrrrr.... I love IT nerds.

Had an awesome day at the zoo yesterday with the majority of ng's siblings and partners. A bit of a final farewell as I would say it will be a long time coming before we are all back together again with ng's sister Em moving to Sydney then Perth and us off in September. Though ng's sister Susan might have her engagement party in that time, so there might be one last shindig before we go. The kids had a great time - the little scamps! (have posted photos on flikr)

Head off on Friday to see ng's sister Eloise and family in Tassie. Should be awesome!! Apparently the kids are counting the sleeps. It will be Rocky's birthday while we are there.

Teenage angst

We taped the entire Rage 20 year anniversary special (approx 6 hours or so) last weekend and I got to watch it all today. As many of us do, I hated my teenage years and the angst ridden and aggressive tunes of the times suited my frame of mind (if I only I could talk to that girl from 15 years ago, the things I'd say....), so it was great to hear all those old tracks once more. Some of the highlights of the selection included:

Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana
Bullet with Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Wonderwall by Oasis
Longview by Green Day
Come Out and Play by The Offspring
Loser by Beck
Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden
The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson

Some classic tunes, you must agree.

It went on to show clips post 97, but none of that was worth watching, because that is when music started to go shit. I know many people will disagree with me and yeah, I like some music post 97, but it doesn't have the same emotive component with me like music pre 97 does. Back when music was good and artists were real.

It will be interesting to see the sounds coming out of the UK when we are there.

Big bazoombas on bikes

Had dinner here tonight with the girls. Great venue, fantastic food, awesome company. We don't catch up enough, so we have made a pact to go back to our monthly catch up rituals. I'll miss you guys when we're gone!

I was gonna put a photo of the 3 of them up here, but thought they might kill me. I know they don't want to google themselves and find a big fat link to this site. Maybe I should invent some pseudonyms??

Talking about googling - what have you gotten back when you have googled yourself? With my maiden name, it was about some nurse who was convicted of killing her patients. With my married name, it's just pictures of young ladies with big bazoombas on a particular style of motorbike.

FUFFs galore!

Ended up having a real family oriented weekend for a bit of a change. Caught up with nb's fam for some birthdays which was nice.

Big news from ng's sister Susan - she got engaged - congratulations guys :) Apparently they are making the trek down next week with the kids and we are going to the zoo. Will get to hear all the goss then.

Had breakfast here with Em, Manda & the boys on Sunday morning for a catch up before Em moves to Sydney at the end of the month. Company - great, venue - good, food - shite. Checked afterwards to see if they had been listed on the breakfast blog. It hadn't. I would have ranked it lower than McDonalds. Lame-o. My fault though cause I picked it (and cause I am a food snob). Thought I was doing the right thing by picking somewhere convenient for everyone involved. Meh.

Review: Dylan Moran

Went and saw this show this evening:

I am quite fond of this fine comedian and his brogue. However, tonight I would have said he missed the mark. I like Moran’s style of comedy and he delivered in his usual brash fashion while slurping on tea and red wine. He spoke mostly of his travels in Australia since he has been here with his family, which for the most part, was quite funny. In particular his mocking of Australian department stores not selling summer shoes at this time of year because it’s coming into winter got some good laughs. There was one point where he made a side comment about Australians having no culture, which did not even get a titter. You could have heard a pin drop. That was funnier than the actual joke – the whole theatre can laugh at his Irish/Catholic/German jokes, but don’t make fun of Australians and their lack of culture!!

Although the material seemed lazily put together and last minute, that’s Dylan Moran. However, I thought it was poor form that he checked his watch several times through the show. It made it look like he thought the show was tedious. You would think for a seasoned performer, that having to go by a watch wouldn’t be necessary. I might be wrong, I’m just speculating.

I should give him more credit. I was tired and it’s been a long week, so I probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind. He was funny - though I probably wouldn’t recommend the show unless you were a fan. 2.5 stars.

Rating system

I should probably explain my rating system for the past reviews. It’s all based on my laugh out loud factor. I am a Edna Krabappel when it comes to laughing out loud. Something has to be very funny for me to crack up. You might get a smirk or a bit of a smile, but it has to be really funny for me to burst out laughing. So my star rating is based on how many times I laughed out loud. So, based on Dylan Moran’s rating, I would say I laughed out loud 2.5 times. However, with Adam Hills, it was 5+, including thigh slapping, which says you are really on a winner.

Drug mules 'r' us

What do you say when you wake up and find this on your kitchen bench?


Does it say that a “good friend” wants you to be a mule and buy drugs for them in Europe and has been so kind to provide a 'glad bag' in order for you to place said drugs up your rectum?

Or does it just say that said friend had leftover euros and was spreading the love?

At this stage, I am leaning towards the former.

Homie Dancing

I just finished writing a blog entry that could have rivalled Shakespeare when my frigging computer died in the arse. I got a bloody blue screen of death. Who gets those anymore?? I remember reading somewhere that Microsoft had done something whereas they display something different in place of the blue screen of death to lull the masses into a false sense of security that something isn't really all that wrong. Anyway, I lost my unsaved entry! Damn it! When is my new laptop gonna get here??

So, this entry is not going to be nearly as good. Don't worry, I am continually saving this one. It went something along the lines of this:

Don't you hate it when you find something out about yourself that you didn't want to know? Especially something embarassing?

Conversation with nb last night got onto the topic of the fact that a photo of me appears on his mobile when I ring him. Went something like this:

ng: How embarassing! How come I have never seen it?
nb: Durr, maybe because you are on the other end of the phone when it is displayed?
ng: What if your phone is on your desk and people at work see it? When was it taken? How embarassing! You must have drugged me to get me to do that pose.
nb: Nobody sees my phone. June 2005. Yeah, I drugged you to make you look like a dork, that sounds totally logical.

It is a photo of me dancing. Not just any dancing. Homie Dancing. I can guarantee I know what song was on too. It would have been The Nosebleed Section by Hilltop Hoods. Embarassing. Not sure if I can upload it here for two reasons. Don't know if I have the courage and also not sure if I know how.

I heard something really disappointing on the radio today. I was channel surfing with the radio in the car on the way home and got to Bogan FM (aka Triple M). All I could hear was 3 blokes laughing at their own jokes, with one in particular continually saying "Maaaaaaate, Maaaaaaate" and I thought, who is this wanker? I was saddened to realise it was Wil Anderson.

Things can't be that desperate can they Wil?

I know you have to pay the bills and I realise you were going to be doing the drive shift on Bogan FM but did you have to agree to the lobotomy in order to get on air? A real shame.

Anyway, they were doing a segment where they were getting people to phone in if you shared a name with a famous person. I got the tail end of the conversation of a guy named Michael Jordan. The next caller was a woman with the surname Bond. Her uncle's name was James. No surprises there. But then she went on to say what she had named her kids. Her son was Jet Bond and her daughter was Shaquille Bond. Yes, Shaquille as in the male American basketballer. She thought they were cool names. That woman needs to be smacked. Actually, she should have been nominated to the Chaser boys, who did this great skit on bad baby names.

Once you have been there, if you need more laughter in your life, go here. However, there is a rule. You need to say them with a Scottish accent aloud to yourself. What a cack.

Also got to catch up with Phuc today as I was in the city. She's so excited about seeing Dylan Moran this Friday. So am I. Stay tuned for a review.

Review: Adam Hills - Joymonger

Went and saw this show this evening:

Now I am probably not the best person to be doing a review of Mr Hills, as you can probably tell by my sidebar on the right. I love him. I can openly say I think he is the funniest bloke on the planet, but it’s not just that. His moral standpoint on things impresses me and I think there should be more people on the planet like him.

Anyway, enough gushing. nb doesn’t read this blog anyway. Actually, I know he lurks, he just never posts. So lets just say he doesn’t “actively” read. I think he is ok with me loving Adam. Just like I also love Stephen Quartermain and Justin Madden. Please note, I loved Justin Madden before he was a parliamentarian, so don’t think I am weird.

Ok, getting off track again. Back to the review. It was at the Forum, which is a venue I really like. The last time I was there I saw Jet in concert. I was getting annoyed waiting for the venue to start, because this annoying mole sitting behind me would not shut up. I know the show hadn’t started, but why do people with annoying voices never shut up? She was talking about all the shows she was going to see as a part of the Comedy Festival. Here is a transcript:

“Oh my god, I am going to see that girl who hosts that show on ABC. You know the one – Rockwiz? She is so funny. I can’t remember her name but she is so funny. Then I am going to see that guy out of Lano and Woodley. The Woodley guy, he is such a crack up. Then I am going to see Dave Hughes….”

My thought process was as follows:

1. It’s Julia Zemiro and the show is on SBS you moron.
2. How surprising. I cannot stand either Lano or Woodley. By the way they have broken up.
3. Dave Hughes. How typical based on your conversation so far.
4. What are you doing here?

Anyway, lights dim and AH comes out, announcing himself ending the bleeding of my eardrums. Quite a few latecomers arrive who have been held up because the Star Wars show finished late. So of course they got a bollocking for that. He interacted with the audience quite a bit, which was done well. Sometimes that can be over the top and take over a show, but there appeared to be a happy medium. He relayed stories of travelling overseas and does absolutely stellar impersonations and observations of the Irish, British, Australians, Egyptians, Welsh, Americans and a Nigerian taxi driver.

Stories such as where he was when he found out Steve Irwin had died (in a pub in Ireland) and how he was told: “Ah, so sorry to hear about your man” were told brilliantly. He told various stories about his experiences with beauracracy gone bad in a number of different countries, which were very good.

One particularly funny moment was when he asked if he had any Irish people in the audience and one girl put up her hand. He asked where she was from and she said an Irish town. The funny thing was, it was spoken in such an ocker Australian accent, complete with the lilt at the end of the sentence, which makes everything we say sound like a question. It took AH aback and he commented on how Australian she sounded and asked how long she had lived in Australia. To which the reply was “oh, I was born here. But my parents are Irish”. The entire audience cracked up. It’s people like that who give the Irish a bad name!

AH spoke about a Banjo Patterson poem “Clancy of the Overflow” which he felt epitomised Australia and urged people to look it up. He recited a few verses verbatim, including a few verses with a gay inflection in his voice, which was simply hilarious. I have included the poem below, I hear where he is coming from.

The show ended with AH dancing on the roof of a 1989 Mazda 929 to “Footloose”. You will have to go and see the show to see how that ties in. A fantastic ending and I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I love him more. If you go and see at least one show during MICF, make it Adam Hills. 5 stars.

I have also published my emails that I sent while we were overseas last year. It doesn’t matter if anyone else reads them, but I like to. They make me smile when I am feeling down.

Clancy of the Overflow – A.B. Paterson

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
knowledge, sent to where I met him down the Lachlan years ago;
He was shearing when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,
just on spec, addressed as follows, "Clancy, of The Overflow."

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected
(and I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar);
'Twas his shearing mate who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
"Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where he are."

In my wild erratic fancy, visions come to me of Clancy
gone a-droving "down the Cooper" where the Western drovers go;
As the stock are slowly stringing, Clancy rides behind them singing,
for the drover's life has pleasures that the townsfolk never know.

And the bush has friends to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him
in the murmur of the breezes and the river on its bars,
and he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plain extended,
and at night the wondrous glory of the everlasting stars.

I am sitting in my dingy little office, where a stingy
ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,
and the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city,
through the open window floating, spreads it foulness over all.

And in place of lowing cattle, I can hear the fiendish rattle
of the tramways and the buses making hurry down the street;
and the language uninviting of the gutter children fighting
comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

And the hurrying people daunt me,and their pallid faces haunt me
as they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste,
with their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,
for townsfolk have no time to grow, they have no time to waste.

And I somehow rather fancy that I'd like to change with Clancy,
like to take a turn at droving where the seasons come and go,
while he faced the round eternal of the cash-book and the journal
but I doubt he'd suit the office, Clancy, of The Overflow.

Cold feet

About 2 weeks ago I started to get cold feet (figuratively). I started freaking out about why we shouldn’t be going to the UK. Being typically me, I was thinking of the absolute worst that could happen in every scenario. Anyway, nb snapped me out of it, so I can write about it now. Had I written about it back then, I think I would have seriously convinced myself that we shouldn't go. I just have to remember that it is a huge thing and it is normal to be shitting myself. The problem is while I am shitting myself I am seeking solace in chocolate, which is not doing any favours for me at all.

Had to purchase a microphone headset today for some work I am doing. It is pretty cool, I have been playing around with it. No, not doing Madonna tribute impersonations. For your listening pleasure, I have included a little snippet over here (cause this site is shite and I can't seem to upload audio). BTW, you'll prob need broadband - which you should have anyway - it's the 21st century.

Changed my surname at work this week. This was prompted by the Emirates incident. Things are just getting too hard basket with having 2 names on the go. Already garnered a nickname at work based on the change – it’s only been a day!!

It’s the start of the long weekend – I love it! April is a great month this year, public holidays aplenty.

Happy birthday for all the April birthdays - Janet, ng’s Old Lady, nb’s Old Man, Drew & Rocky.

Random thoughts

Had sister Amanda’s engagement party this weekend. Nice little soiree, it was a lovely afternoon. Congratulations Manda & Dave. Unfortunately I didn’t get a piccie of the charming couple together. Have been a bit slack on the old photo taking these days. So here is another photo instead.

We had some sad news about the health of nb’s pop a few weeks ago. I didn’t know whether I should say anything about it on here because I didn’t want it to be mixed in with a trivial post. I then came to my senses and realised that all my posts are like that and I should be talking about the good and the bad. Just because I talk about it in a trivial post does not lessen its impact or our thoughts.

I have cooled down about Emirates now. Even considering that when I went to the Emirates office to get everything sorted out, I had to wait for 90 minutes to speak to someone who couldn’t help me. Breathe deeply and repeat after me. I have the calmness of Buddha. This did not apply when I was sitting there seething. There was a girl who had earlier attempted to push in front of me. I was having daydreams of punching her in the face and playing the conversation in my head when I had to call nb from the police station. Anyway, long story short, Emirates lady was helpful in the end. She sorted out the problem after hours and contacted me the next day to say that tickets in my married name could be collected. nb collected and paid for them on my behalf as I work in the burbs and he is in the city. He didn’t have to provide any identification to say who he was. Go figure – heaven and earth has to be moved for me to get the tickets, but any Joe Blow can walk in off the street to pay and collect them. Meh.

I was having a discussion with my brother and the olds. My brother wants to set up a paintball company. I think it sounds awesome. I told my Old Man it was a really nerdy hobby/interest though, cause nb is into it. Old Man’s reply was “Nah, it’s real! It’s not on the computer or anything…” I love it.

I have spent the majority of my weekend creating a website for an extra-curricular activity we are doing at work. I haven’t done HTML scripting in a long time and based on my output, it clearly shows.

Thank god it’s a short week ahead. Though last week was pretty good. Went out to lunch socialising nearly every day, including catching up with Janet, an old workmate. She came in with her little boy Samuel. What an absolute cutie!

p.s. Yes Old Man, I agree that nb is not some Joe Blow off the street.
p.p.s. The hornbags are going to Channel 7. What an absolute travesty.